There are only six subway stops between Unity Discount Liquors and Paul’s Boutique.
To make the trek between these two unassuming hip-hop landmarks you’d have to walk a few blocks and switch between the A train and the F train in downtown Brooklyn. But you’d get there in about a half hour, without ever needing to drive a car. This is good because Mr. Muthafuckin’ eXquire doesn’t have a car or a license.
NOTE: With the announcement a few days ago that Brooklynite MCA of the Beastie Boys had passed away, we can’t help but let him influence our investigation of Brooklyn’s most amazing new rapper.
In the hit home-made music video for “Huzzah” you can clearly make out Unity Discount Liquors which sits at the corner of Utica and St Marks in Brooklyn. Just two intersections away is Dean Street, where you’ll see eXquire himself standing at the epilogue. You’ll also see the interior of eXquire’s apartment, one of the local housing projects.
Now look. This dude is on some other shit. So if you just heard of him five minutes ago, let’s get the basics out of the way first:
Sometimes he wears them. Probably helps his vision.
SHIT AROUND HIS NECK
There might be some jewels in there. Looks like strange mementos, giant beads, plastic collectables, and maybe some driftwood or seashells.
Lots of Mishka brand clothing. eXquire dug it long before anyone knew who the hell he was. Eyeballs and Death Adders.
Yeah, it raises some eyebrows. This line from “Huzzah” says it all: “What’s my name? Mr. eXquire. Don’t forget the ‘Muthafuckin’ — without that it’s nothing.”
Peering into the world of Mr Muthafuckin eXquire can be an infinitely interesting ride through his life, but it wouldn’t matter much if the man didn’t know his way around a fucking beat.
And boy does he know his way around a fucking beat!
Take a minute to watch as he makes this off-kilter rhythm his bitch. (It’s the second half of this track around @2:04):
Holy shit, right? That’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Now let’s take a look at the Huzzah remix. This video probably cost a little more than the $400 they spent to make the original. But check how eXquire (final verse) dominates the track even after El-P, Danny Brown, Despot and the dudes from Das Racist spit killer verses:
Speaking of Danny Brown, we were concerned it might come off as disrespectful to try to compare eXquire to the late Beastie right when the rap icon has taken his last breath. Then we saw SPIN collected comments from today’s most inspired rappers (they got a good dozen). Of those, who made it into the headline?
So either this is one X-Files-type coincidence, or HARD and Fool’s Gold know what the fuck they’re doing when it comes to booking rappers for the Fool’s Gold Clubhouse.
So we start thinking. If Danny Brown, Action Bronson, and Mr Muthafuckin eXquire were to form their own Beastie trinity, what role would each of them take? Danny Brown is definitely Ad-Rock, with his in-your-face non sequitors and screeching left turns. Action Bronson seems like a good fit for a Mike D, rapping about food and sports and keeping everyone in the party feeling great. Mr. Muthafuckin’ eXquire is a perfect match for MCA, the hardcore fan’s favorite. He’s got that low gruff voice and an effortless flow that streams from pop culture to street taunts to philosophy all in one cool breath.
Can we expect eXquire, Brown and Bronson to rap “The New Style” in unison at the Fool’s Gold Clubhouse at HARD Summer? That might be pushing it. But you can expect the most epic L.A. rap event of the summer.
OH FUCK! Did you know you can download eXquire’s albums (er, mixtapes) for free? As in “you don’t even have to feel guilty about it” free?
On his 2008(?) album, The Big Fat Kill, you’ll hear his resonant voice rapping cleverly about his favorite topics including “liquor” and “pussy.” It’s 50 zooming minutes of solid rhymes and classic beats with an upbeat party vibe.
On Lost in Translation the real genius emerges in tracks like “Lou Ferrigno’s Mad” and “Triple F.” For the freestyle inspired by the orginal Hulk actor, Mr MFN takes a dope beat from a bedroom producer named Constrobuz. How’d this kid from North Carolina get hold of eXquire? Probably from the time he posted his actual cell phone number at the top of his blog. As the song goes… “Nigga, I don’t give a fuck!”
And that’s where Mr Muthafuckin’ eXquire separates himself from all the other rappers in the world. Check any interview or lyric sheet with his name on it. Ever since he embargoed rapping about things he didn’t own and flipped his persona from fictional eXquire the Don to the real world oddity Mr Muthafuckin eXquire, it’s like the guy has sworn a blood oath to be brutally honest.
If he didn’t have such a healthy sense of humor and poignant observations, you might think the dude has Asperger’s because he’s just so unapologetically candid about every goddamn thing. These interview clippings might give you a glimpse:
GETSOME: What’s an average day in the life of Mr Muthafuckin eXquire?
Mr. Muthafuckin’ eXquire:I wake up, unroll my dick Fruit-by-the-Foot style, take a piss, write rhymes, knock on my roomate’s door, do some shit to annoy him, write more rhymes. Eat food, get on Twitter, text bitches that take mad long to text me back cause I’m not famous yet, watch some form of sports, write rhymes, jerk off because the bitches I mentioned earlier are fronting and go to sleep. Wash and repeat. I swear that’s a typical day in my life.
SYFFAL MAGAZINE: Would you rather do a track with Sir Menelink or Breezly Brewin? And what would the title of each track be?
Mr. Muthafuckin’ eXquire:I would do a song with all of them — a posse cut. The title of the song would be “I Don’t Know Who The Fuck These People Are.”
PITCHFORK: We’re here pre-Valentine’s-Day. We’ve got ladies making you cards… this apparently is your first Valentine’s Day?
Mr. MuthaFuckin’ eXquire:Yeah, it’s my first Valentine’s card. She got hugs and kisses on there, too. I love hugs and kisses; they’re so fucking cuddly.
Mr. MuthaFuckin’ eXquire:You got to ask my mother that. You wanna call her? Come on, let’s call her. [dials on speakerphone]
So Kanye better start flexing his twitter muscles, because @eXqomaniaRules signed with a major label. He’s now poised to be the most followed motherfucker to ever spout off on the internet. We’re also very happy about the move to the majors because while we wouldn’t want Lost In Translation or The Big Fat Kill to lose their home-recorded charm, it’s time to hear this wicked rapper on some professional mixing and mastering.
Lastly let’s all give a round of applause for Lost in Translation earning best album cover of all eternity. The amazing vibrant colors bring out all the twisted details of the all-too-real situation in this candid photo.
FUN FACT: “Triple F” aka “Fuck ‘Em, Fuck ‘Em and Fuck ‘Em” contains more curses than any Tyler the Creator song to date!*
*This may or may not be true. No fact checking was done whatsoever.
Bonus streaming mixtape:
** Obvious NYC rap references we purposefully excluded from this article: Method Man & Redman, Notorious B.I.G., Mos Def, Fabolous, Ghostface